Cohabitation. When Googled, one of the definitions offered is: the state or fact of living or existing at the same time or at the same place. Is it just me, or does that sound more like a challenge rather than an alternative to the legal binds of marital bliss? Exist. Hmmmm. Lions and gazelles exist in the Serengeti. Just sayin’.
Let me just say, I have lived alone, with the exception of my daughter, for the majority of my adult life. Cohabitation is not easy when you have a skull as thick as mine and your partner is set in their ways. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus is probably an understatement as I feel those planets are still too close together. This has been a learning experience. I feel like I could end this post with that statement alone. But I can’t help myself and am rather curious. Am I the only one that feels the struggles? How on EARTH do you “long-termers” do it without someone mysteriously sleeping too soundly under an unusually heavy pillow? I’m kidding of course because I do love my other half, but now I understand why Dateline will never run out of material. When a woman snaps, it’s not her fault and I struggle to believe it’s even “temporary insanity”. The insanity seed was planted by a man and he slowly nurtured the little bud over the years until it turned into a full blow tree that she pulled out of the ground one day and beat him with!
Men do not like being told what to do. That works for me because I don’t want to work in full time management. I already have a full time job AND a blog AND a teenager AND several animals. However, it sometimes seems I don’t have a choice. Asking for a chore to be completed more often than not seems to fall on deaf ears. Or, I get the passive response of “I’ll do it in a little while” which reminds me of what my parents used to say to me as a child when I’d ask about something they didn’t want to be bothered with and they would respond “We’ll see”. That was a nice way of saying go away, it’s not happening today, tomorrow, or ever! I know this for a fact as I have heard the same statement fall from my lips more than once through the course of raising my daughter. Then we have the added complication of his implementing island time into his lifestyle. He’s lived here almost 7 years now, so it’s really had time to sink in. So, while “I’ll do it in a little while” is bad enough, now add more lag time to it, thereby forcing you to ask again a week later. Then again 2 days later… and so on. Do you see where I’m going with this? Then one day you hear the roots start to creak and give a little on your insanity tree. For me this is managed by a minor display of crazy while shouting orders that results in him finally doing what I’ve asked while grumbling under his breath…usually something along the lines of “well if you’d just ask..” Really? Staggering. Truly.
Having these occasional “situations” arise have prompted me to consider starting a series of self-help books for men. Titles to consider:
“’Define Lazy’ – A Man’s Guide to Housework”
“Housework. It ain’t clean if it’s still dirty!”
This may come across as cruel so let me clarify, I live with a good man. HOWEVER, these are the thoughts that come to me at the peak of my frustration. Bottom line… men do not see things the way we do. That won’t change! (That statement was more for me than my readers.) I’m sure there are exceptions to the rule, and for those of you out there with one of those men, play your cards carefully because he’s either one in a million, kissing your butt for an indiscretion you don’t know about yet or gay!